Do you find it hard to say what you want to without becoming tearful or angry?
If it feels like your partnership is unlikely to withstand one more emotional storm, then it’s time to do some serious talking. Write down how you feel and give the letter to your other half. Walking on eggshells is horribly stressful and things can be resolved. If your partner is willing, seeing a couples’ counsellor can be useful in moving you to a resolution with less animosity and heartache, whether you decide to stay together or not. It also gives you both the opportunity to learn from the experience, so you’re less likely to repeat it, thus allowing you both to move on – or recommit to each other – with an increased chance of happiness.
If your partner refuses to talk things through with a third party, you could always see a counsellor yourself to get a clear idea of what’s really troubling you. Sometimes it’s not your partner at all; you may discover that they are just a convenient person to project your feelings onto. A trained counsellor can also help you hone your communication skills, in order to express your feelings in a way that won’t see your partner become defensive.
Has everything solidified? Do you feel taken for granted or that your other half doesn’t listen to you?
What keeps a relationship growing is regular clear and open communication. Most of us fall into predictable ways of interacting-withdrawing when we’re hurt, for example – which allow resentments and misunderstandings to fester. The single most important thing you can do to strengthen and deepen your relationship is to learn to communicate from the heart. Building the trust to bear your soul and be truly vulnerable, even in the most loving relationship, takes time and skills.